Their Thirty Hours
by Starbuck223
Summary: Voyager said they would be in range of New Earth in thirty hours...what did Janeway and Chakotay do with that thirty hours? Set during Resolutions, JC oneshot.


Their Thirty Hours

Disclaimer: The producers own them, and sometimes, they write them well, but sometimes, they leave out certain key details that we fans would like to see. So, fanfiction authors like me take it upon ourselves to borrow the characters and finish their stories. That is what I've done here.

A/N: This is set after/during Resolutions. Janeway and Chakotay were told that Voyager would be there in thirty hours...but what did they do with that time? This picks up right after they spoke to Tuvok.

Chakotay closed his eyes as the communication with Tuvok ended. He was relieved that they were to be rescued and cured, but at the same time, he was content on New Earth. Kathryn had finally begun opening up to him, and he knew that once they were back aboard Voyager, all of that comfort would end.

Kathryn was thinking the same thing. Although she was afraid of the closeness and comfort, it was nice. She had kept everyone at a distance since Voyager was swept into the Delta Quadrant, and it took her a long time on New Earth to relax and enjoy her time with Chakotay.

Thinking about how all of this would end made her happy but at the same time...

She fell backward against Chakotay's frame and felt his arms fold around her waist.

All she wanted the entire time they were on New Earth was to find a cure and be able to leave...so why all of the sudden was she so upset?

_Because..._ came a tiny voice inside of her. _You don't want to go back to protocol and lose all of this._

Chakotay held onto her, caressing her arms with his hands. Maybe it was because tensions had been building since their confinement to New Earth, or more likely because he was in danger of losing his opportunity, but Chakotay felt brave.

Bending down, Chakotay brought his lips to Kathryn's neck and gently pressed a kiss onto her fair skin.

Kathryn's eyes flew open at the sensation of Chakotay's kiss, but she didn't pull away from him. They had played this game for a few days now...since their discussion of parameters. Every day she swore that he was going to kiss her, and he never did. She told herself it was just her curiosity; just wanting to know if he'd be brave enough to try it. In truth, she wanted him to, ever since his ancient legend and amazing smile revealed all she needed to know.

When she didn't move from his embrace, Chakotay followed his experimental kiss with a second, lingering just a moment longer.

He was waiting for her to say something about packing or parameters. He was waiting for her to move or shift uncomfortably to let him know that he shouldn't continue.

But she just stayed there in his arms.

Chakotay brought his lips up to her cheek and kissed her again, his hands finding her waist and helping to turn her to face him.

He looked into her eyes and saw that she was unsure, but there was something else there as well.

Kathryn smiled, almost...nervously. Was Kathryn Janeway nervous? If so, Chakotay imagined he might be the first man to ever see her in such a state. She was always so sure of herself on Voyager...even when she thought she wasn't.

The smile gave away her feelings. She was happy to be kissed by him. Chakotay once again could not hide his dimpled smile from her, delighted that she wasn't upset.

Kathryn pushed aside the thoughts of protocol and procedure and parameters...all those nasty 'p-words.' She would be captain of Voyager again in thirty hours, but those thirty hours belonged to her and Chakotay. She could do with them what she wanted, as plain old Kathryn Janeway of New Earth.

Resting a shaking hand around Chakotay's waist and another against his chest, Kathryn looked up into his eyes and his smile. She drank in the moment, knowing she would not–could not, have another like it once they were aboard Voyager.

Chakotay took the cue and let his lips meet hers, slowly and softly, as if she was made of glass.

Kathryn knew that she should not be kissing him for many reasons. Even if she wasn't the captain at the moment, she was, and soon would be again in a command structure. She was engaged to Mark. She knew that Chakotay's feelings were pure, and she would only be hurting him later when she ended it...the list went on for some time. Despite all of it, she couldn't stop the moment that was unfolding before her.

Kathryn Janeway did a lot of things for other people. She was a self-sacrificing person...but she was going to have to do that for the next seventy years. In the meantime, she was going to allow herself to enjoy this time with Chakotay.

Surprisingly, Chakotay broke off the kiss. He looked at her with the utmost respect and...Was it love?

"I don't mean to spoil a good thing, but...are you sure?" He asked her quietly. As much as he wanted to continue along this path, they would be back on Voyager in thirty hours. She would be his captain and he would be her first officer, and if they kept going, things might never be the same. Even now it would be difficult to resume the purely working relationship that they had once had.

Kathryn looked down to prevent Chakotay from seeing the tears in her eyes. Biting her lip, she revealed herself.

"Once we're on Voyager, we cannot be anything more than captain and first officer."

Chakotay's face fell. Of course...it was what he expected, but it still stung to hear it from her after the recent turn of events.

With his disappointment audible in his voice, Chakotay acknowledged her statement. "I understand..." _Understand, but don't quite agree with_, he thought.

Kathryn frowned. She didn't want to just end things like this, but it would have been too cruel to continue and leave him later. It wasn't as if she could say, 'continue right now, but in thirty hours just forget it,' despite how much she wanted too. It was better this way anyway, since she doubted that even she could just put on the brakes in a day's time.

Not knowing what else to do to reassure Chakotay, she put her arms around him and pulled him close to her, hugging him tightly.

The tears were unstoppable at this point. They flowed freely down her cheeks, soaking his shirt.

Kathryn fought off a sob and managed to utter a few words to him, before burying her face in his chest.

"It's not because I don't want to..." She whispered, not sure if that helped or made it worse.

Chakotay stroked her hair and held her tightly. Sighing, he planted a few kisses amongst her hair. He always assumed she just hid behind protocol, but she honestly did not want to go against it. How sad for her. She was dooming herself to be alone for seventy years or more...dooming him as well.

Chakotay knew that he would always love this woman. If he had to wait seventy years until she was no longer his captain and he was out of the command structure, then he would do it. That was how he operated before New Earth and it was how he would behave after they returned to Voyager. But if there was any chance that they could continue...

"If you want to...then why not make the most of the day we have left?" Chakotay asked.

Kathryn froze, surprised. She had falsely assumed that he wouldn't want her at all if he couldn't keep her. She forgot to consider that he might want to take what he could get, and enjoy his time with her, even if it was only for a day.

"It will be hard...afterward," Kathryn mumbled into his shirt.

"I know it will, Kathryn. Believe me, it's been hard everyday I was on Voyager. It was hard everyday on New Earth, and it will be harder once we go back."

Kathryn was surprised at his words. He was insinuating that he had always loved her, or at least had always wanted her as more than his captain. She was afraid of his love, as much as she was enthralled by it, especially if it was that powerful.

"What do you say to lunch by the river? We might not be able to explore it, but we can enjoy it one last time." Chakotay suggested.

Kathryn dried her tears, trying to compose herself. "That would be nice."

"I'll make a picnic lunch to go. Why don't you grab us a blanket, and if you're in the mood, a bathing suit for swimming."

Kathryn went to her room and replicated a bathing suit. It wouldn't matter that she was using the replicator, since they were going to be off-planet soon.

She dressed in the bathing suit and put a light sundress over top of it. The dress was a light pink with white flowers, and it suited her well.

When she rejoined Chakotay in the kitchen his eyes traced her from feet to face, smiling appreciatively at her outfit.

"You look wonderful." Kathryn smiled, weakly, wondering what the rest of the day held for them.

Once Chakotay changed clothes, they packed up the food and headed down to the river. They walked in silence, each contemplating the rest of their day together, and each wondering if the other was truly okay with it all.

"I feel like it's our last day alive or something," Kathryn muttered.

"It almost is," Chakotay agreed, sadly. "You and I won't have another day like this for a very long time...and maybe not even then." He didn't like to admit that this might be the last time he ever enjoyed Kathryn Janeway's company in this manner.

Kathryn didn't like to think that they would never have the opportunity to relax together again either. Hopefully, they would be home sooner, rather than later...and then...

And then what? She had a fiancé waiting for her on Earth. Was she just going to forget about him and start a life with Chakotay, when Mark would have waited, who knows how long by that point? She had already cheated on him by kissing Chakotay. She should have been stronger than that.

Kathryn knew that she would not have let her guard down for any other man. There was something here...something strong between her and Chakotay, and it was stronger than her and Mark. That was why she allowed it. It was right, despite the fact that she was engaged. In some ways it was more right than her engagement to Mark. It wasn't the first time that she questioned that commitment.

She laid the blanket out on the riverbank and Chakotay served lunch. They ate in the same awkward silence, not know what was okay to talk about, and each buried in their own thoughts.

Finally, when they finished Chakotay broke the silence. "I'm going for a swim. Do you want to join me?"

Kathryn smiled, grateful that he finally said something. "I'd love to." She tried to avert her eyes slightly when he pulled off his shirt, but she was too tempted by what she saw. Chakotay had a great figure; muscular and tan. She hoped he didn't hear her sharp intake of breath.

Chakotay certainly had heard it, and tried his best to hide his smile. The sight of Kathryn pulling off her dress to reveal a plain, solid black bathing suit underneath only served to widen his grin.

"Last one in has to eat or drink whatever new concoction Neelix dreamed up in our absence," Chakotay teased her, running toward the water.

"No fair!" Kathryn screamed, running after him and not missing a beat. "You got a head start!"

Chakotay hit the water, diving under it and surfacing, shaking the water from his hair.

"Feels good! Come on in!"

Kathryn gently touched her hair, grimacing at what the river would do to it. _What the hell_, she thought. This was her only opportunity to swim in the river with Chakotay. _Our river…_she reminded herself. _On our planet…_

She plunged into the water and surfaced face to face with Chakotay. They were both treading water, out just beyond where they could touch bottom.

Kathryn floated backwards and kicked hard, splashing Chakotay.

Rather than splashing her back, Chakotay lunged toward her in the water, overtaking her with the weight of his body. He wrapped his arms around her, and simultaneously they went under the surface.

"You're going to drown us both," Kathryn screamed, laughing when they surfaced together.

Chakotay let go, but allowed his hand to trace the length of her body before doing so.

"Do you want to race again?" He asked.

"A swimming match?" She asked, curiously.

"I was thinking more back to shore and then laying in the sun for a bit," Chakotay grinned.

The two swam inland and then sprinted toward the blanket. Chakotay held back, allowing Kathryn to reach it first. She relaxed on her back, panting from the run.

Chakotay grinned devilishly as he caught up and fell toward her, stopping his body only inches from hers. His face hovered above hers and he looked into her eyes once again to see the answer to his question. They sparkled in the sun and searched his face, but did not tell him what he needed to know.

"Kathryn," he said softly, forced to ask directly. "May I kiss you?"

"Yes," she replied sweetly, looking up at him. Even though he knew that after today it would end, he still wanted her. She wasn't about to tell him no.

Chakotay kissed her for a long time, running his fingers through her wet hair and along her jaw line. She was so beautiful and so attainable at that moment...

He slowed his kisses and moved to her side, reclining next to her. Closing his eyes, Chakotay fell asleep in the sun next to the woman he loved.

Kathryn wasn't sure how long they slept, but when she awoke, the sun was setting. She sighed, realizing that their day was almost over, and remembering that it should have even happened. Chakotay had one arm draped loosely across her body. She rubbed his arm, taking his hand and gently sat up, shaking him awake.

Chakotay pulled his hand from hers, grabbing her shoulder and gently pulling her down to kiss him. Then he stood up and began packing their picnic remains to bring back to the house.

They packed what belongings they needed to bring back to Voyager in silence. Chakotay brought all of the artwork he had made during their time on New Earth, as well as the holophotos of him and Kathryn. Maybe she expected to forget her time here once they were on Voyager, but he didn't. While he packed he tried to remember every detail right down to the sensation of her kiss.

Chakotay knew she was serious in her convictions. She would not permit a relationship between then once they were back on Voyager, and at most, he might be able to kiss her one last time, if she even allowed that. He was afraid that she would say enough; that they needed to stop in order to start readjusting.

Kathryn finished packing and decided to take one last soak in the bathtub that Chakotay made for her. It was the sweetest gift she'd ever received, and she was sorry to leave it on the planet. She just didn't have enough gall to let anyone on Voyager transport it to her quarters, because whoever transported it would know what it meant. Rumors would fly, and she would lose all that she worked for as a respected female captain.

She finished her bath and pulled on her nightgown, returning to the house. Chakotay emerged from his room at the sound of her entry, standing across the room from her.

"I want to remember us like this forever," Chakotay began. "I'd like to think that we could return to it, someday, but I'm not that naive. I know that it might be a lifetime or more before Voyager gets home. I wish you would reconsider waiting that long, but I understand why you won't, and I respect that."

Kathryn moved toward him and Chakotay put his arms around her, lightly kissing her forehead. He held her for awhile, and then let her go.

Kathryn reached out and grabbed his hand, holding it firmly and giving him a small squeeze. Then she pulled him toward her room, and sat down on the bed.

"We can't continue it, once we're on Voyager. I wish we could...but there are so many reasons we can't."

Chakotay nodded. He didn't need her going into a lecture about protocol, and he certainly didn't want her to mention her engagement to Mark. He just sat there quietly waiting for her to continue.

"Tomorrow morning we will be Captain Janeway and Commander Chakotay," she said with a sad smile. "The only way to do this is to return to protocol immediately. I can't allow lingering feelings to surface or show, once I'm back in the captain's chair."

"I know, Kathryn. I won't do or say anything out of line. I won't provoke you or bait you, don't worry. Everything will be as it was."

Kathryn's eyes watered once more at the thought. She fell against Chakotay and he put her arms around her once more. They fell asleep clinging to each other, knowing that they wouldn't feel the others embrace again.

The next morning preparations were made to leave New Earth. Kathryn and Chakotay dressed in their Starfleet uniforms and Kathryn wrapped her hair up into her customary bun.

When they returned to Voyager everything was as they said it would be... Janeway was answered with 'Yes Ma'ams" and completely proper responses. There were no soft smiles or exchanging glances; nothing to indicate that their relationship was anymore than it had been before New Earth.

When Kathryn returned to her quarters after her shift, exhausted already from holding onto her captain's exterior, she collapsed.

Picking herself up from the bed she pulled herself toward the bathroom for a hot soak in her Starfleet issue tub, and gasped at what she found in its place.

The bathtub that Chakotay made her was sitting in her bathroom.

Shaking, she moved toward the tub, noticing the padd laying on its edge. She picked it up, still numbed by the fact that the bathtub was in her quarters.

_He must have written it on New Earth and beamed both padd and bathtub to her quarters after they were back on Voyager_, came a thought from the part of her brain that hadn't been thrown into complete chaos.

Kathryn climbed into the tub, tears running down her cheeks, and sat there for awhile with padd in hand, thinking of just how much she was forced to give up; how much being captain demanded of her. Looking down she saw a short message from Chakotay.

"I couldn't leave this behind. Let it serve as your remembrance of New Earth and our time together.

Love always,

Chakotay."


End file.
